NFC East Preview: Slightly Worse Than Anticipated

JW,

After yesterday's stinker--as always, the AFC East forgot its courtesy flush--I'm ready to head across town to the NFC. Here's an interesting question, by the way. Which region will have the biggest win-total discrepancy, AFC vs. NFC? A quick glance at schedules reveals that the East might well take it this year.

After all, this is a gritty, tough, hard-football division. Mind you, I hate all of these teams, but even I've got to admit that there are three Super Bowl contenders here.

Take the New York Giants, for example, who somehow managed to parlay sticking with a quarterback too long into winning it all. (Note to Chiefs fans still holding on to Brodie Croyle: This rarely works.) The Giants have a terrific red-zone running game, an obnoxious fan base making life miserable for their opponents, and lingering karma from the damnedest piece of luck I've seen since O. J. Simpson was born black. What's not to like?

Or consider the Dallas Cowboys, whose dismissal of Terrell Owens ranks with Hillary Clinton's move from dresses to pantsuits as one of the great decisions in history. I see the Cowboys firing Wade Phillips after a 3-4 start, reeling off 9 straight wins with Mike Shanahan at the helm, and scaring the hell out of everyone in the first round of the playoffs. In fact, lock it down. It's definitely happening.

And what about the Philadelphia Eagles, whose signing of Michael Vick immediately vaulted them to villain status unseen since the 1972 Soviet basketball team? Can't you just see Michael Vick making a clutch play or two in January, followed by Donovan McNabb murdering him in cold blood? I know I can! Throw in the fact that teams I hate always do well, and they're practically a lock for a deep postseason run.

Which leaves us with the Washington Redskins, further proof that our founding fathers were geniuses to deny the District of Columbia congressional representation. Like the Houston Texans, the Chicago Cubs, and the American summer movie lineup, the Skins are always supposed to be good this year. I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired of waiting.

-GM

GM,

Did you see Mark Sanchez solidify his role as Jets starter? His first two passes--one of which was intercepted for a touchdown while the other should have been--made this look like acceptable quarterback play. That said, I see the NFC East--ESPN's long-proclaimed "best division in sports, life, and the cosmic realm forever and ever no matter what you say, period"--shaping out like this.

Washington Redskins (last place): I don't know who's been in your ear this season, GM, but no one outside of D.C. expects the 'skins to make any noise. Sure, they make a playoff appearance every now and then and often have a roster full of talent, but you can't trust them any more than Chief Zee should have trusted Andrew Jackson.

Dallas Cowboys (third place): When spending $1.15 billion on a new stadium, one should hire a crew with research capabilities thorough enough to account for the height of a punt. Some folks say Jerry Jones is no longer concerned with winning, only with ticket sales, but the release of a certain Hall of Fame lock at receiver has me wondering if either is a priority. I could see the Week 6 injury report including "Jason Witten (chronic fatigue syndrome)" because being Tony Romo's main squeeze can really take its toll. I can't think of a reason this team should be any better this year. As much as teams hate T.O., they don't get any better when he leaves.

New York Giants (second place): With a top-15 receiver locked up and a decent QB not having to play for a big contract anymore, the only question is, "How many guys can Brandon Jacobs run through before he's out of gas?" Answer: not enough.

Philadelphia Eagles (division champs): The Vick acquisition aside, this team should be able to keep some of the momentum it gathered at the end of last year. A fierce defense, an established quarterback, a gifted running back, an underrated wide receiving corps, and an experienced head coach will be enough to go 11-5 in what I think will just be an average division this season. Please don't tell Trey Wingo I said that.

-JW