JW,
I love talking (anonymously) about race, particularly when it's a Democrat who's put the issue back on the front page. This time the culprit is Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, who, according to a just-released account of the 2008 election, predicted early in Barack Obama's candidacy that Obama could win because he is "light-skinned," has "no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one," and "isn't afraid of dogs and swimming pools." Okay, I made that last one up, but the rest is real. Reid, already the target of a serious re-election challenge, now finds himself in that most precarious of political positions: convincing Americans that he didn't mean the truth he uttered.
Happily, Reid faces a cooperative press and a "Negro" political establishment that can't wait to let bygones be bygones. Leading the charge, as always, is Al Sharpton, who told the New York Times on Saturday that "while Mr. Reid 'did not select the best word choice in this instance,' the comments should not distract Congress or the White House." Also forgiving is Obama himself, who "accepted Harry’s apology without question because I’ve known him for years. I’ve seen the passionate leadership he’s shown on issues of social justice, and I know what’s in his heart." Because Reid is a Democrat, Sharpton and Obama tell us, he literally cannot commit a racist act or think a racist thought--his liberalism has rendered it an impossibility. Conversely, Republicans cannot help but be racist--George Allen, remember, was forced out of politics because he might have meant "macaca" as a racial slur.
What makes Sharpton's and Obama's comments so odious is their underlining of the absolute fact that race and its accompanying hysteria are weapons used by Democrats against Republicans. Period. While the black man or woman on the street may experience racism as a scourge, elite Democrats of color see only an opportunity--for their own advancement as well as that of their party. Similarly ridiculous has been the Times' focus-shifting, a masterpiece of partisanship that spent the weekend transforming the story from Reid's gaffe to GOP Chairman Michael Steele's insistence that he resign. (What's next? "Michael Steele: Another Black Guy Who Can't Take a Joke"?) As the story develops, look for Sharpton, Obama, and other black "leaders" to stick by Reid. . . as long as doing so doesn't jeopardize the health care bill. The minute it does, they'll denounce him from the very rooftops of Washington.
The only question is whether or not they'll have their Negro dialects in the "on" position.
-GM
GM,
How many racially inspired posts does this make for us? Four? Five?
My biggest curiosity is whether or not Reid would have been under any fire if he hadn't used the word "Negro." I suspect so. I assume there still would have been outrage if he had said, "Obama can win because his skin is light for a black man and because he doesn't speak like some uneducated black people tend to speak." Other than his use of the diet N-word, there is practically no difference between that comment and the one he actually made. And that comment is unadulterated truth. In most elections--2000 and 2004 excluded--we like our presidential candidates to sound like they went to college. Yet it's hard to imagine that, in a society where being "progressive" means accepting racial differences without daring to acknowledge them, such a remark would go over well...
...which leads us to your complaint. Reid somehow managed to escape most of the wrath that would have been coming to him if he hadn't been a Democrat. Secretly, though, the Donkeys must be fuming! "Look, Harry, we can't claim the social moral high ground if you don't abide by our ever-evolving rules of racism. Thank God we have the media!"
Of course you're right that the race card is a political weapon, and Republicans have no answer for it so far. This is why I fear for the future of the GOP. While immigration continues to bring us closer to the point that whites are just another minority, the Left has redefined racism to include any political disagreement with a non-white. And considering that most non-whites in America vote Democrat, we'll either continue to see a shift in what constitutes conservatism, or we won't see a Republican in the White House for a while. We may have an occasional laugh at Mormons and Catholics for having so many children, but they're certainly doing their part to keep the red states red.
-JW
Monday, January 11, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Beating the Clock to a Playoff Countdown
Editor's Note: This piece went up at 7:55 ET. If you're reading it after the games inevitably went against us, try to understand . . . and be generous.
JW,
Perhaps anticipating a playoff weekend composed largely of Week 17 rematches, I stayed away from the NFL last Sunday. (Yeah, I watched Chris Johnson's run at 2,000 yards, but is it really the NFL if neither team cares about the final score?) As a result, I'm fresh as a daisy--completely ignorant of how things went down and unaffected by Week 17's weirdness. Is Dallas twenty-four points better than Philadelphia? Is Green Bay twenty-six points better than Arizona? Is New York thirty-seven points better than Cincinnati? I have no f-----g idea!
In that spirit, how about a playoff preview based entirely on happenstance and gossip? It's not a better look at this weekend's action, but it's certainly a Smarter one.
New York at Cincinnati
As I mentioned on Tuesday, I learned nothing about the New York Jets this season. Nevertheless, they led the league with 2,756 rushing yards in my absence, carrying the ball more than six hundred times (compared to fewer than four hundred passes--the fewest in the league) and relying heavily on the ageless (but AARP-eligible) Thomas Jones. On the other side of the ball, the Jets gave up fewer than one hundred yards per game on the ground (8th place league-wide) and almost five hundred fewer yards through the air than second-best Buffalo. If this game were being played in 1970, when running the ball and stopping the run actually did win championships, the Jets would absolutely demolish the Bengals. As it stands, I like them winning closely when Cincinnati's two-minute drill fails. And forget the curse of the rookie quarterback on the road. Everything about the Jets' play this season suggests that they will not allow Mark Sanchez to lose this game for them.
Eagles at Cowboys
Both of these teams want badly to choke--Dallas for historical reasons and Philadelphia to satisfy Donovan McNabb's yearnings to leave behind the least satisfied fan base in the history of Hall of Fame careers. Can this game end with both quarterbacks and coaches being burned in effigy? Does the NFL postseason have ties? If not, look for Dallas to win the battle of the trenches and upset Andy Reid's perfect record (!) in the first round of the playoffs. I like the fact that Philadelphia scores on big plays. I dislike the fact that they can only score on big plays. Dallas, your choke will probably have to wait until round two.
Baltimore at New England
After last year's travesty of a win in Tennessee, Baltimore deserves to be screwed out of this win. Who better to take it from them than a coach who cheats! New England has had one of the strangest season's in recent NFL history--absolutely destroying Atlanta, Tennessee, and Jacksonville, but losing to Denver, Miami, and Houston in games where a little more heart would have gotten it done. I have no idea what to make of this Patriots team. Why couldn't they get hot and win the Super Bowl? Why couldn't they lose this game by thirty? The only thing I know for sure is that if Julian Edelman fills Welker's shoes without missing a beat, the Pats' locker room needs to be examined for witchcraft. Will no injury derail this franchise? Is their system really that perfect? I say no. In fact, I'm picking the upset. Baltimore blitzes its way to a win, followed by Roger Goodell and Tom Brady filing civil suit and winning rights to Ray Lewis' dance. It was only a matter of time.
Green Bay at Arizona
The ultimate finesse game is also the hardest game to call. Every sign points to a big Green Bay win, but Arizona's level of play can absolutely not be predicted. My feeling is that the Cardinals' best game beats the Packers' best, but who knows whether or not they'll bring it. What I am sure of is that running backs and punters need not suit up for this one. Sounds like a can't-miss to me.
-GM
GM,
Since I can't argue with or add to anything you're saying, I'll just spout out some thoughts that come to my mind in order of their arrival. Then I'll direct my attention to last night's national title game, which you, perhaps rightfully if we're just speaking of the game itself, failed to mention.
- As you alluded to, Andy Reid is 7-0 in opening playoff games! Quite an amazing stat, but he's also 1-4 in conference championship games. Then again, so was Bill Cowher before winning it all. This proves that owners should tolerate coaches who consistently win, even if they don't win the big one.
- Not being reported at all is that Bill Belichick is 6-0 in playoff openers.
- The Jets/Bengals game may be the hardest to predict, but the winner will definitely lose to the Colts or Chargers in the second round--magnificently.
- Tony Romo has never won a playoff game. Wade Phillips has never won a playoff game. Today is the 10th anniversary of the Music City Miracle. The Bills' coach: Wade himself.
- The Packers aren't 26 points better than the Cardinals, but they are better. I disagree with your assumption that Arizona at its best beats Green Bay at its, mainly because a completely-clicking Packers team looks better to me than every team but a completely-clicking New Orleans, which, by the way, is long dead.
- ESPN's Chris Mortensen just said he expects Pete Carroll to be the Seahawks' coach by early next week! Whoah.
College football managed to deny us its only totally meaningful game of the year last night. We all assumed Alabama was better than Texas, so the game was billed as Colt McCoy vs. Alabama. Could the face of the Longhorns since Vince Young's departure manage to pull an upset over the team that clearly had the best season up to that point? Thanks to a fluky, seemingly mild injury, we didn't get to see it. And it's not fair to anyone. Not to Alabama, which, despite probably being the better team anyway, will now have a huge shadow cast over its 13th national championship. Not to Texas, which was denied a fair shake. Not to the fans, who had to make themselves believe that it was fair--or at least most fair--that Texas played in the game over Cincinnati, TCU, or Boise State.
Most of all, it wasn't fair to Nick Saban. He didn't deserve that kind of cushy treatment. The same joyless bastard who screwed my Dolphins managed to have the worst coaching performance in big-game history and still win. He tried a shamefully bad fake punt that his defense bailed him out of, and he turned around and asked the same defense to protect an 18-point halftime lead while shutting down the offense. Then, despite enjoying better weather than 98 percent of the country, he acted like his Gatorade bath would kill him right there on the sideline. The post-game press conference reeked of more austerity, as we watched Saban impersonate his mentor, Bill Belichick, as if acting like an ass at season's end would still provide some sort of psychological advantage. His straw hat is Belichick's scissored hoody. "You think this looks stupid? F--k you, world. I'm a champion."
-JW
JW,
Perhaps anticipating a playoff weekend composed largely of Week 17 rematches, I stayed away from the NFL last Sunday. (Yeah, I watched Chris Johnson's run at 2,000 yards, but is it really the NFL if neither team cares about the final score?) As a result, I'm fresh as a daisy--completely ignorant of how things went down and unaffected by Week 17's weirdness. Is Dallas twenty-four points better than Philadelphia? Is Green Bay twenty-six points better than Arizona? Is New York thirty-seven points better than Cincinnati? I have no f-----g idea!
In that spirit, how about a playoff preview based entirely on happenstance and gossip? It's not a better look at this weekend's action, but it's certainly a Smarter one.
New York at Cincinnati
As I mentioned on Tuesday, I learned nothing about the New York Jets this season. Nevertheless, they led the league with 2,756 rushing yards in my absence, carrying the ball more than six hundred times (compared to fewer than four hundred passes--the fewest in the league) and relying heavily on the ageless (but AARP-eligible) Thomas Jones. On the other side of the ball, the Jets gave up fewer than one hundred yards per game on the ground (8th place league-wide) and almost five hundred fewer yards through the air than second-best Buffalo. If this game were being played in 1970, when running the ball and stopping the run actually did win championships, the Jets would absolutely demolish the Bengals. As it stands, I like them winning closely when Cincinnati's two-minute drill fails. And forget the curse of the rookie quarterback on the road. Everything about the Jets' play this season suggests that they will not allow Mark Sanchez to lose this game for them.
Eagles at Cowboys
Both of these teams want badly to choke--Dallas for historical reasons and Philadelphia to satisfy Donovan McNabb's yearnings to leave behind the least satisfied fan base in the history of Hall of Fame careers. Can this game end with both quarterbacks and coaches being burned in effigy? Does the NFL postseason have ties? If not, look for Dallas to win the battle of the trenches and upset Andy Reid's perfect record (!) in the first round of the playoffs. I like the fact that Philadelphia scores on big plays. I dislike the fact that they can only score on big plays. Dallas, your choke will probably have to wait until round two.
Baltimore at New England
After last year's travesty of a win in Tennessee, Baltimore deserves to be screwed out of this win. Who better to take it from them than a coach who cheats! New England has had one of the strangest season's in recent NFL history--absolutely destroying Atlanta, Tennessee, and Jacksonville, but losing to Denver, Miami, and Houston in games where a little more heart would have gotten it done. I have no idea what to make of this Patriots team. Why couldn't they get hot and win the Super Bowl? Why couldn't they lose this game by thirty? The only thing I know for sure is that if Julian Edelman fills Welker's shoes without missing a beat, the Pats' locker room needs to be examined for witchcraft. Will no injury derail this franchise? Is their system really that perfect? I say no. In fact, I'm picking the upset. Baltimore blitzes its way to a win, followed by Roger Goodell and Tom Brady filing civil suit and winning rights to Ray Lewis' dance. It was only a matter of time.
Green Bay at Arizona
The ultimate finesse game is also the hardest game to call. Every sign points to a big Green Bay win, but Arizona's level of play can absolutely not be predicted. My feeling is that the Cardinals' best game beats the Packers' best, but who knows whether or not they'll bring it. What I am sure of is that running backs and punters need not suit up for this one. Sounds like a can't-miss to me.
-GM
GM,
Since I can't argue with or add to anything you're saying, I'll just spout out some thoughts that come to my mind in order of their arrival. Then I'll direct my attention to last night's national title game, which you, perhaps rightfully if we're just speaking of the game itself, failed to mention.
- As you alluded to, Andy Reid is 7-0 in opening playoff games! Quite an amazing stat, but he's also 1-4 in conference championship games. Then again, so was Bill Cowher before winning it all. This proves that owners should tolerate coaches who consistently win, even if they don't win the big one.
- Not being reported at all is that Bill Belichick is 6-0 in playoff openers.
- The Jets/Bengals game may be the hardest to predict, but the winner will definitely lose to the Colts or Chargers in the second round--magnificently.
- Tony Romo has never won a playoff game. Wade Phillips has never won a playoff game. Today is the 10th anniversary of the Music City Miracle. The Bills' coach: Wade himself.
- The Packers aren't 26 points better than the Cardinals, but they are better. I disagree with your assumption that Arizona at its best beats Green Bay at its, mainly because a completely-clicking Packers team looks better to me than every team but a completely-clicking New Orleans, which, by the way, is long dead.
- ESPN's Chris Mortensen just said he expects Pete Carroll to be the Seahawks' coach by early next week! Whoah.
College football managed to deny us its only totally meaningful game of the year last night. We all assumed Alabama was better than Texas, so the game was billed as Colt McCoy vs. Alabama. Could the face of the Longhorns since Vince Young's departure manage to pull an upset over the team that clearly had the best season up to that point? Thanks to a fluky, seemingly mild injury, we didn't get to see it. And it's not fair to anyone. Not to Alabama, which, despite probably being the better team anyway, will now have a huge shadow cast over its 13th national championship. Not to Texas, which was denied a fair shake. Not to the fans, who had to make themselves believe that it was fair--or at least most fair--that Texas played in the game over Cincinnati, TCU, or Boise State.
Most of all, it wasn't fair to Nick Saban. He didn't deserve that kind of cushy treatment. The same joyless bastard who screwed my Dolphins managed to have the worst coaching performance in big-game history and still win. He tried a shamefully bad fake punt that his defense bailed him out of, and he turned around and asked the same defense to protect an 18-point halftime lead while shutting down the offense. Then, despite enjoying better weather than 98 percent of the country, he acted like his Gatorade bath would kill him right there on the sideline. The post-game press conference reeked of more austerity, as we watched Saban impersonate his mentor, Bill Belichick, as if acting like an ass at season's end would still provide some sort of psychological advantage. His straw hat is Belichick's scissored hoody. "You think this looks stupid? F--k you, world. I'm a champion."
-JW
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Coaching Vacancies, Vacant Heads
GM,
The Redskins have made Mike Shanahan the highest-paid coach in all of football, and the misery will continue in Washington, at least for one more year. In most professions, the elite don't get fired unless they sleep with the wrong guy's wife. In football, though, the numbers don't always add up. You can be fired for a memorable collapse in 2009 and hired in early 2010 for what you did early in 1998 and 1999!
Shanahan entered the scene for the Broncos in 1995--a time in which John Elway's talent was being underutilized and it looked like he'd never win a SuperBowl. Of course, we know the rest of the story, but few people realize the rarity of Shanahan's grace period. Denver won one playoff game--a sweet, sweet defeat that ended the Patriots' championship dynasty (oh yes, it's over)--in the decade after Elway retired. Extending his leash even further was his close friendship with Broncos owner Pat Bowlen.
Obviously, the man was going to get another job as soon as he wanted one, but Dan Snyder's typical approach--throwing money at personnel with high quotes regardless of fit or actual abilities--may not even work on head coaches. Surely he knows Mike Shanahan is far from a sure bet to turn the team around, but he also knows that he's incapable of picking the right guy for anything! He's hired five head coaches this decade, including Marty Schottenheimer, Steve Spurrier, and Gibbs--three guys who are bound for the Hall of Fame because of their abilities to coach. Somehow, all failed under Snyder. He's hired an offensive coordinator for every year Jason Campbell has been in the league!
This contract is nothing but an admission by Snyder that he has no idea what he's doing, but he's willing to pay his way out of any possible blame. After all, who could blame you for getting Mike Shanahan?! Too bad you still have an average quarterback, a post-prime running back, one of the shortest "big-play" split ends in the league, and a culture of losing. At least we won't see this anymore.
-JW
JW,
Once a fairly low bar of competence is cleared, coaches don't particularly matter in the NFL. Yes, I said it. If the Redskins compete next season, it will be because the Collective Bargaining Agreement didn't get renewed and we're playing without a salary cap. Give Mike Shanahan every significant free agent and the financial upper hand in trade negotiations and he'll be just fine. Stick him with Jason Campbell and Clinton Portis--calling Clinton Portis post-prime is like calling Barack Obama post-partisan: both descriptors are the best their marketing people can hope for--and he'll lose as often and as badly as Jim Zorn. Not only has Shanahan never won a ring with mediocre talent, he's never won one without a Hall of Fame quarterback and a 1,700-yard rusher. What he has done is choked in the playoffs, held decades-long grudges, and followed the money to what has got to be the worst coaching vacancy in football. If you want to win, that is.
Elsewhere in the league, the coaching carousel appears to be operating with similar illogic. In Cleveland, team president Mike Holmgren's first order of business was keeping the universally loathed Eric Mangini--a move that ESPN has rightly called Mangini's "biggest win yet." In Dallas, certified buffoon Wade Phillips continues to function beneath the previously mentioned competence bar solely because Jerry Jones likes weak personalities. In Kansas City, a hideous defense and a $63 million career backup at quarterback will apparently be bailed out by yet another New England Patriots transplant whose name isn't Bill Bellichick.
Only Carolina seems to be behaving reasonably, refusing to fire the perfectly tolerable John Fox just because Bill Cowher has a house nearby. Why should they? The same squad will lose for both of them.
-GM
The Redskins have made Mike Shanahan the highest-paid coach in all of football, and the misery will continue in Washington, at least for one more year. In most professions, the elite don't get fired unless they sleep with the wrong guy's wife. In football, though, the numbers don't always add up. You can be fired for a memorable collapse in 2009 and hired in early 2010 for what you did early in 1998 and 1999!
Shanahan entered the scene for the Broncos in 1995--a time in which John Elway's talent was being underutilized and it looked like he'd never win a SuperBowl. Of course, we know the rest of the story, but few people realize the rarity of Shanahan's grace period. Denver won one playoff game--a sweet, sweet defeat that ended the Patriots' championship dynasty (oh yes, it's over)--in the decade after Elway retired. Extending his leash even further was his close friendship with Broncos owner Pat Bowlen.
Obviously, the man was going to get another job as soon as he wanted one, but Dan Snyder's typical approach--throwing money at personnel with high quotes regardless of fit or actual abilities--may not even work on head coaches. Surely he knows Mike Shanahan is far from a sure bet to turn the team around, but he also knows that he's incapable of picking the right guy for anything! He's hired five head coaches this decade, including Marty Schottenheimer, Steve Spurrier, and Gibbs--three guys who are bound for the Hall of Fame because of their abilities to coach. Somehow, all failed under Snyder. He's hired an offensive coordinator for every year Jason Campbell has been in the league!
This contract is nothing but an admission by Snyder that he has no idea what he's doing, but he's willing to pay his way out of any possible blame. After all, who could blame you for getting Mike Shanahan?! Too bad you still have an average quarterback, a post-prime running back, one of the shortest "big-play" split ends in the league, and a culture of losing. At least we won't see this anymore.
-JW
JW,
Once a fairly low bar of competence is cleared, coaches don't particularly matter in the NFL. Yes, I said it. If the Redskins compete next season, it will be because the Collective Bargaining Agreement didn't get renewed and we're playing without a salary cap. Give Mike Shanahan every significant free agent and the financial upper hand in trade negotiations and he'll be just fine. Stick him with Jason Campbell and Clinton Portis--calling Clinton Portis post-prime is like calling Barack Obama post-partisan: both descriptors are the best their marketing people can hope for--and he'll lose as often and as badly as Jim Zorn. Not only has Shanahan never won a ring with mediocre talent, he's never won one without a Hall of Fame quarterback and a 1,700-yard rusher. What he has done is choked in the playoffs, held decades-long grudges, and followed the money to what has got to be the worst coaching vacancy in football. If you want to win, that is.
Elsewhere in the league, the coaching carousel appears to be operating with similar illogic. In Cleveland, team president Mike Holmgren's first order of business was keeping the universally loathed Eric Mangini--a move that ESPN has rightly called Mangini's "biggest win yet." In Dallas, certified buffoon Wade Phillips continues to function beneath the previously mentioned competence bar solely because Jerry Jones likes weak personalities. In Kansas City, a hideous defense and a $63 million career backup at quarterback will apparently be bailed out by yet another New England Patriots transplant whose name isn't Bill Bellichick.
Only Carolina seems to be behaving reasonably, refusing to fire the perfectly tolerable John Fox just because Bill Cowher has a house nearby. Why should they? The same squad will lose for both of them.
-GM
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Owning Up . . . Maybe a Little Covering Up
JW,
Looking over old NFL predictions is a bit like watching drunken videos of yourself. You barely remember any of it, and you just want it to be over. In that spirit, how about an abridged retrospective of what we got right and wrong this season? Here's my top three in both categories, presented in the order in which they occurred to me:
Things I Nailed
1) The New York Jets did not make an appearance in my home this season. I wrote in August that I'd watch the Russian ballet first, and even though the Jets slipped into the playoffs (How?! Why?!), I don't see that changing. Seriously, was a single word spoken or written about this team all year? They're strangers to me!
2) The Dallas Cowboys will indeed scare the hell out of everyone in the playoffs after enduring some rocky times mid-season. Of course, I also predicted that Shanahan would be coaching them by now, but I'm still putting this in the win column.
3) The Bears stunk! I couldn't be happier about this one if I had caught Cutler's interceptions myself. I wrote in August that the Bears are "a team that's seemingly perfect for underachieving," and they went right out and did so. The good news: It won't be possible to underachieve next year. Everyone knows you suck.
Things I Badly F----d Up
1) The Bucs will win their division? Holy s--t! In retrospect, it was our last day of predictions, and I was bored. So what if they lost it by a league-leading ten games? That's nothing compared to how bad they'll be when they start this guy at quarterback.
2) Like you, I doubted the Arizona Cardinals. When will we learn that the NFC West doesn't require youth, agility, or stamina from its quarterbacks. Warner won it the minute he decided to return for another year, and you and I should have known better.
3) I slept, slightly, on the Denver Broncos. How they missed the playoffs after that start is beyond me, as is how they gave up 259 rushing yards to Jamaal Charles . . . in week 17 . . . at home . . . a mile above sea level . . . with the playoffs still a possibility. 2-14 was a bad guess for these guys, but an utter lack of clutchness apparently wasn't.
-GM
GM,
No need to come up with polar-opposite categories the way I see it. After all, the only prediction I completely botched was that
Things I Was Close Enough to Being Right Enough About to Still Brag
1) The Packers and Ravens were my favorites to win their respective divisions. They didn’t do that, but as wildcard teams, they’re clearly the best teams in their divisions right now.
2)
3) I said Aaron Rodgers was the best quarterback in the NFC North. I still believe it, by the way. Favre is obviously the most popular among them, and he had an incredible year, but take a look here to see how good A-Rod was even though his line didn’t protect him for half of the season.
Things I Want to Be Remembered By
1) I said the NFC North would definitely lead the league in interceptions. Of course Favre disappointed me, but
2) Mark Sanchez was indeed dreadful. He had 12 touchdowns and 20 picks—the worst ratio of anyone who started all year. Somehow, in a league in which the traditional way of winning, strong defense and running game, has become passé (three of the top four rushing teams failed to make the playoffs), the Jets used such a strategy and their schedule (beating two uninspired division winners in the final weeks) to overcome Sanchez’s failures and squeeze into the playoffs. Congrats to Rex Ryan, who will make me laugh for one or two more pressers.
-JW
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
'Learning to Fly' . . . Still
GM,
Watching a wretched Monday Night Football game (which turned out to be incredible after we started this post), the only thing worth mentioning is that Mike Tirico's winter hat has done the impossible--made him look even nerdier. (Here's a shot I just found of Tirico explaining to Jon Gruden how to sexually harass a coworker without losing your job.) It's a good thing the game is boring, though, because two events from this weekend clearly stood out as the most relevant. (My Christmas-Day unwrapping of towels and bedsheets wasn't one of them.)
I wonder what went through Urban Meyer's mind in the 25 hours and 9 minutes between his decision to step down as Florida coach and his decision to stick around after a leave of absence. What is it about having two national championships and living in Gainesville that breeds such indecisiveness?! Meyer's similarities to Florida basketball coach Billy Donovan are great. Both won two titles, of course, but both were also leaving teams that were loaded but would soon be bereft of all their talent. And if you don't think that was at all a factor, well, you're less cynical and jaded than I. But both men thought about it a little while, decided that coaching an average team was still better than almost every other job in the country, and ultimately made the right decision.
Meanwhile, the federal government is having a change of heart before our eyes--through no choice of its own. You may recall its post-9/11 commitment to making air travel safer.
More frustrating? Sure. More invasive? You bet. More bureaucratic? We can only assume. But on the first- or second-most significant Christian and American holiday, were we capable of stopping a bomb-carrying Islamic extremist named Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab from boarding a Detroit-bound plane in Amsterdam? Not even close. And news like this makes that fact even piss poorer:
In November, Abdulmutallab had been placed in a database of more than 500,000 names of people suspected of terrorist ties. But officials say there was not enough information about his terror activity that would have placed him on a watch list that could have kept him from flying.
What could that possibly mean? We knew enough to figure he might be a terrorist, but we didn't know enough to watch out for him at airports?! While that doesn't make sense, here's a suggestion that does: We give a firmer frisk to anyone with any of these in his name.
Remember what people told us after 9/11? "Sometimes you have to trade freedom for safety." We seemed pretty divided on whether or not that was a worth-while trade. What's for damn sure, though, is that we should all be willing to trade political correctness for both.
-JW
Watching a wretched Monday Night Football game (which turned out to be incredible after we started this post), the only thing worth mentioning is that Mike Tirico's winter hat has done the impossible--made him look even nerdier. (Here's a shot I just found of Tirico explaining to Jon Gruden how to sexually harass a coworker without losing your job.) It's a good thing the game is boring, though, because two events from this weekend clearly stood out as the most relevant. (My Christmas-Day unwrapping of towels and bedsheets wasn't one of them.)
I wonder what went through Urban Meyer's mind in the 25 hours and 9 minutes between his decision to step down as Florida coach and his decision to stick around after a leave of absence. What is it about having two national championships and living in Gainesville that breeds such indecisiveness?! Meyer's similarities to Florida basketball coach Billy Donovan are great. Both won two titles, of course, but both were also leaving teams that were loaded but would soon be bereft of all their talent. And if you don't think that was at all a factor, well, you're less cynical and jaded than I. But both men thought about it a little while, decided that coaching an average team was still better than almost every other job in the country, and ultimately made the right decision.
Meanwhile, the federal government is having a change of heart before our eyes--through no choice of its own. You may recall its post-9/11 commitment to making air travel safer.
More frustrating? Sure. More invasive? You bet. More bureaucratic? We can only assume. But on the first- or second-most significant Christian and American holiday, were we capable of stopping a bomb-carrying Islamic extremist named Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab from boarding a Detroit-bound plane in Amsterdam? Not even close. And news like this makes that fact even piss poorer:
In November, Abdulmutallab had been placed in a database of more than 500,000 names of people suspected of terrorist ties. But officials say there was not enough information about his terror activity that would have placed him on a watch list that could have kept him from flying.
What could that possibly mean? We knew enough to figure he might be a terrorist, but we didn't know enough to watch out for him at airports?! While that doesn't make sense, here's a suggestion that does: We give a firmer frisk to anyone with any of these in his name.
Remember what people told us after 9/11? "Sometimes you have to trade freedom for safety." We seemed pretty divided on whether or not that was a worth-while trade. What's for damn sure, though, is that we should all be willing to trade political correctness for both.
-JW
JW,
I suppose it's not an accident that the hyperlinked hat with which you illustrated Tirico's was a woman's. For the record, his actual hat wasn't nearly that feminine. And you left off the propeller on top.
With that settled, let's move on to Urban Meyer, a story that resolved too quickly for me to predict its resolution, dammit. Nevertheless, I'm happy to report that I saw Meyer's "return" (Did he even physically leave his office during that retirement?) coming a mile away. As I wrote in a Sunday email, "There is absolutely no need for coaching to be life-threateningly stressful if you've already won two national championships and will never under any circumstances be fired. Just care slightly less."
And speaking of caring less, how about a prediction for the Abdulmutallab story? It disappears. Vanishes. Quicker, even, than the Fort Hood story. The media knows that a continued examination of Abdulmutallab's motives, strategies, and actions can only hurt an administration that prefers to eliminate the word "terrorism" from our vocabulary. Literally. Just like Afghanistan is now Obama's war, Abdulmutallab is Obama's bored, privileged Islamofascist. We need to stop talking about him before the President gets hurt.
-GM
I suppose it's not an accident that the hyperlinked hat with which you illustrated Tirico's was a woman's. For the record, his actual hat wasn't nearly that feminine. And you left off the propeller on top.
With that settled, let's move on to Urban Meyer, a story that resolved too quickly for me to predict its resolution, dammit. Nevertheless, I'm happy to report that I saw Meyer's "return" (Did he even physically leave his office during that retirement?) coming a mile away. As I wrote in a Sunday email, "There is absolutely no need for coaching to be life-threateningly stressful if you've already won two national championships and will never under any circumstances be fired. Just care slightly less."
And speaking of caring less, how about a prediction for the Abdulmutallab story? It disappears. Vanishes. Quicker, even, than the Fort Hood story. The media knows that a continued examination of Abdulmutallab's motives, strategies, and actions can only hurt an administration that prefers to eliminate the word "terrorism" from our vocabulary. Literally. Just like Afghanistan is now Obama's war, Abdulmutallab is Obama's bored, privileged Islamofascist. We need to stop talking about him before the President gets hurt.
-GM
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