Still Pitched Off

GM,

If you watched the MLB All-Star Game’s pre-game show last night, you’ll know where I’m going with this. If you didn’t watch it, go to Google and enter the following:

obama all-star “why did fox”

There are plenty of results.

The buildup to Obama’s ceremonial first pitch was beyond sufficient. Torn between its two main objectives, achieving high ratings and convincing viewers that they have a cool president, ESPN dedicated significant time to promoting FOX’s All-Star Game coverage. Maybe I’m just being cynical and ESPN shows such as Pardon the Interruption and Around the Horn were simply practicing responsible sports journalism as they always do (except when it comes to interviewing Stephen Curry nine times a quarter). But let’s just say I got sick of hearing instructions like “aim high” and “don’t try to do too much” directed toward a man who should have been too busy to hear them.

They got me, though, and I cancelled exercise plans in order to see Obama’s pitch, hoping it would be dainty enough to draw some criticism from the sports media (since the real media don’t dare). Finally, it was time. Obama stepped out of the cart, took the ball from Stan Musial, shook the hand of the uninformed driver, and trotted to the mound enthusiastically. And this is where it goes downhill.

I’ve been watching baseball on TV since I was 5 or 6 years old. No matter how many advances they make in game coverage, the angle from which the pitch is shown does not change. Sure, we occasionally get a shot from behind the plate, but we’ve pretty much established that the camera needs to be in left-center field and zoomed in on the pitcher, catcher, and umpire. FOX, however, decided to put a camera guy at third base so that all we could see was half the flight of the ball once it left the president’s hand.

I demand to know the politics behind that decision. Naturally, I would assume that it’s the liberal media making sure that we don’t see Obama fail at anything. (Keep in mind that the FOX broadcast network differs from FOX News. See Family Guy, a show that’s not only fiercely liberal but preachy!). But he didn’t fail, as I know from my Internet search, so why not show a replay? It was no post-9/11 George W. Bush strike, but it was still better than 90 percent of the ceremonial first pitches I’ve seen.

So which do you think will come first, GM—an explanation from FOX or a National League win?

-JW

JW,

I was actually listening on the radio, and wouldn't you know it, they cut to commercial the second the ball left his hand.

Seriously, I don't understand what happened, either. It seems to me that the chances of Obama getting it across the plate were about as good as those of George Bush changing the channel back in Dallas. In other words, pretty good. After all, this is the guy who "accidentally" appeared shirtless in a tabloid during the campaign. (Thank God Hillary didn't feel the need to follow suit.) This is the guy who plays basketball! And buys his daughters a puppy! He's just like us, only better. Of course he throws a zinger.

So why does FOX cut away? I'm guessing that the shot you saw was the network's "Capturing a Historic Moment" shot--wide, iconic, and in no way confusable with the standard camera work that the cretins pitch to. Sure, regular sports fans wanted to see if the guy could bring it, but the tens of casual fans who tuned in were looking for a live-feed of the next cover of Time.

If there's a lesson here, it's that liberals were completely justified in their desperation to see the end of the Bush presidency. I swear, I'm so sick of Obama after just six months that I'd voluntarily give up the next seven years of my life. Can't you see it? A contemporary Rip van Winkle, I wake up just in time for the final months of yet another endless election cycle to find that a fresh new face will soon be tinkering mindlessly with the economy, deploying our troops with no underlying military philosophy, and renewing Maya Angelou's White House pass. Maybe a new i-product will have been invented, too.

In any case, let's not get too worked up about missing that pitch. FOX cut back to the correct angle in plenty of time to show the White House Press Corp carrying the president off the field.

-GM