The NFL: Where the 2008 Election Goes to Learn About Predictability

JW,

When we're right, we're right, and when the NFL's at issue, we're damn right. I don't know about you, but I'm ready to demand a by-line after seeing yesterday's NFL script. Not only did we nail our pro-football complaints, but an email I sent to friends last night was so spot-on, I'm having myself tested for clairvoyance.

With 5:00 to go in the third quarter, I'm ready to say that [the Titans are] better than Pittsburgh but will probably still lose the game. I'm scared to death of Pittsburgh's two-minute offense. Their other fifty-eight minutes? Not so much.

Here's my question, then, after watching the 2009 Steelers crap all over both their history and the league's: Why, under any circumstances, should Pittsburgh ever again run or go into a huddle? I mean, ever.

After all, the team marching down the field at will during the game's three crucial drives--the end of the first half; the end of the second half (Hines Ward's fumble notwithstanding); and overtime--bore absolutely no resemblance to the going-nowhere, up-the-middle-for-two gang that might as well have spent quarters one and three working a crossword puzzle. If Pittsburgh wins the Super Bowl this year and gives New England legitimate competition for Team of the Decade, it will be because, like the Patriots, they mastered (to their shame) the rinky-dink, pass-our-way-to-victory bulls--t that renders the run game insignificant and can't be stopped if you've got a good line and a slot receiver worth his paycheck. Simply put, the old adage about running and championships just doesn't work anymore. The league is too fast, the rules too slanted in favor of offenses, and the O-Lines too big. One game into the season, I'm ready to bet my last dollar that this year's champion will be a high-completion, low-yardage passer with a fair-to-middling running game. Yes that's right, Minnesota. You've chosen poorly.

Here are some other notes and some well-deserved back-patting:

-Troy Polamalu's textbook hit on Chris Johnson and the flag that followed almost killed me. Johnson, one of the fastest guys in the league, was sprinting down the sideline. By the time he veered out of bounds, Polamalu was already in the air flying toward him. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if Johnson manipulated the entire situation. He's a world-class athlete. He can't time his run so that he leaves the playing field just as he's about to be hit?

-Not only was the first game of the season decided by an overtime in which only one team saw the ball (here's your take on that travesty), but the normally reliable Chris Collinsworth made the ridiculous argument that the NFL's system works because "the game could end on any play." Geez, Chris! Why not just toss out the clock and the whole four quarters thing and make the winner the first team to score?

-Predictably, Al Michaels' (and Collinsworth's) use of "Ben" instead of "Roethlisberger" bordered on self-parody. It crossed the border into homo-eroticism.

-Obviously, I'm not going to stop watching the NFL, but last night's game reminds me of why professional football isn't as flawless as its apologists would have us believe.

What did you see while watching?

-GM

GM,

I spent half of last night watching the Clemson-Georgia Tech game, to which I refused a free ticket partially because I love the NFL opener so much. I'm also low on time right now, so I'll only get at the heart of what's bothering me.

The Polamalu hit was not only a perfect, safe tackle, it might have saved a touchdown! Look at the video again. Assuming Johnson had the corner turned on William Gay (#22), Polamalu was the last line of defense. Johnson stepped out of bounds as a reaction to (!!!!!) Palamalu's dive. Just to be clear, here was the order of occurrences. Watch the video one more time and see if you don't agree.

1. Polamalu begins his diving undercut to take down Chris Johnson, who is still a foot away from the sideline.

2. Johnson sees the defender coming toward his legs and sidesteps out of bounds to avoid the brunt of the contact. His right foot lands out of bounds.

3. Less than a tenth of a second after that right foot hits, Polamalu's tackle connects, upending Johnson.

The NFL has decided that this is a 15-yard penalty, even though it's clear that Polamalu started his tackle while Johnson was still in bounds. Essentially, the league demands that linebackers and defensive backs have 4.4 speed and that they can stop on a dime, even in the mid air!!! Do you think Johnson let his guard down the split second his foot touched the chalk?! There is simply no point to that call.

GM, it's nice see that you've admitted what I've been screaming about the Patriots this whole millennium. New England won two of its three SuperBowls with Antowain Smith and Kevin Faulk splitting carries--and not that many. Brady made his living quickly finding slashing receivers in Bill Belichick's simplified, less defensible west-coast knock-off. Roethlisberger makes his living off pump-faking and backyard football. And the exhausted notion that running and defense wins football games is a complete farce. The NFL is decided on third down. Those who can convert (via pass) and get stops (typically against the pass) win championships.

-JW