Mean Girls, Mean Boy

GM,

It occurred to me this morning that we don't discuss women enough and that we've never given any attention to soccer. New Mexico junior defender Elizabeth Lambert has given us reason to touch on both. Thanks to play so unsportsmanlike that ESPN gave it 90 seconds of highlights, Lambert will open the eyes of many to the unnecessary brutality of women's soccer. Hair-pull takedowns, kicks to the head, punches to the back--apparently all part of the game and not even worthy of an ejection in her case.

This type of behavior really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. Take Rachel McAdams's character in Mean Girls--a movie liked by an astonishing number of guys and somehow tolerated by me. She's deceitful, manipulative, arrogant, conniving, and hyper-competitive. Attribute those characteristics to a butch college athlete (I don't care what her sexual orientation is; that chick is butch), and you could understand how she would play "with no regard for human life" (Kevin Harlan voice)!

I don't know what's so attractive about violence in our society. These UFC and MMA matches bore me worse than an August baseball game between the Royals and Orioles. I haven't been in a fight in well over a decade, and I'm thrilled about it. Who has the energy?! Even the winner of a fight comes out a little worse off than he was going in. Right, Tom Cable?

-JW

JW,

Speaking of Cable, it's not just assistant Randy Hanson who's been on the receiving end of his rage. Reports have been leaking in the last few days that Cable was also abusive to the women he dated (or all women if the title bar of this article is to be believed). My only question is whether or not Cable shouted "Allahu akbar" as he hit them. The Fort Hood gunman did (fast-forward to 3:20), and that's being equally underreported.

I'll be honest. If Smarter Than Y'all weren't such a great name, I'd be happy with Too Lazy For Violence. We've written before about MMA and its attendant silliness, but it's worth restating that only sociopaths (both functional and non-) can watch this s--t without getting sleepy. Women soccer players are biting each other's tits off? Of course they are! They saw it on TV!

I'll close with a warning and some mockery. The inevitable by-product of society's comfort with violence occurred yesterday. Nidal Hassan (nickname: I'm Obviously a Terrorist) may have been evil, but he wasn't an evil genius. He got his plan the same place they all do: every video game, movie, and television program released in the last decade.

Too bad he couldn't have been satisfied with Mean Girls.

-GM