Like Its Cheese, Swiss Logic Has Holes

JW,

If the sip of water you needed to stay alive would guarantee the extinction of, say, polar bears, would you take it? For the neo-pagan Left, the answer is no. For everyone else, it's yes. The instinct for self-preservation overrides the political symbolism.

As it happens, that very question was asked in Switzerland over the weekend, though in different terms. Presented with a referendum to outlaw the construction of minarets (the onion-shaped spires that dominate Muslim architecture and look vaguely like tits), 57% of voters agreed to do so. Muslims, the thinking seems to have gone, tend to avoid assimilation, preach our destruction on the street corner, and blow us up with bombs. Something should probably be done about them.

The problem, of course, is that taking away a mere architectural flourish is the equivalent not of drinking that water but of using it to wash your hands. The bear dies all the same--in this case, the Arab still rises against you--but you did nothing about your thirst. What the authors of the referendum (the nationalist Swiss People's Party) seem not to have understood is that the law's offending element is not the ban on spires but the assertion of non-Muslim will--the expression of a desire not to be converted. As every thinking person in the world now knows, the Swiss have brought jihad upon themselves. What they haven't done is halt in any meaningful way the spread of Islam by the sword.

Yet outrage--predictable, liberal, and disturbingly white--has followed the vote all the same. The referendum "ensured international embarrassment for Switzerland" according to the Times of London, as well as "a backlash in the Muslim world." The move "is a blow to freedom of religion" according to the Vatican (!), and it increases "the problems of cohabitation between religions and cultures." Even apologists for the ban, such as Swiss Justice Minister Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf, admit that it is "not a feasible means of countering extremist tendencies." She's right, of course. How could it be?

Ironically, the fact that Muslim policy toward America seems to be unapologetic jihad may work in our favor, at least during my lifetime and yours. In Europe, the course has been set differently, and the spectre of Islamic government and Sharia law creeps ever forward. We already know that childless Europe will have to import their next generation. It seems that they've chosen poorly.

-GM

GM,

Speaking of Europeans, bad behavior, and decisions that make no sense, FIFA (translated to mean "International Soccer Association") is considering what punishment to give Thierry Henry, the French striker who committed an uncalled handball against Ireland. Soccer, if any part of you still wants to win Americans over, your effort is either pathetic or halfhearted.

GM, you recently impressed me when you said you've managed to avoid even seeing a replay of the obvious infraction. I, however, haven't been so lucky and am all too familiar with the history. It goes like this.

1. Player commits infraction; infraction not called; other team gets screwed.

2. Player admits to committing infraction but adds: "I'm not the ref. I played it; the refs allowed it. That's a question you should ask them."

3. Embarrassed by his team's unfair victory, player agrees with sore losers about how to resolve the miscarriage of justice.

4. Governing body discusses how to punish player.

How does that sit with you? Soccer fans, go back and read items 1-4 and apply it to Michael Jordan's push-off on Bryon Russell, or Reggie Bush's pushing Matt Leinart into the end zone against Notre Dame, or this strike call. In your world, the refs miss a call, and the player who benefited is to blame?! What was Henry supposed to do? Pick the ball up and hand it to the official?! Soccer fans act like he cheated in the same way that Sammy Sosa corked his bat! And if the act had been premeditated, isn't that an indictment of how bad the sport's officials must be? He actually took time to think that he could get away with blatantly touching the ball!

If the riots, oddball fans, and inescapable boringness of soccer hadn't already lost me, this horrible gesture would. Who's left to punish FIFA?

-JW