GM,
Since 1990, there has been only one occurrence that I've dreamed about at the beginning of every season--the Dolphins winning the SuperBowl. Well, over the last decade, I've fantasized about the Patriots going 2-14, but even Tom Brady's lost season couldn't make that happen. During down years for Miami, it's the stories of controversy, betrayal, criminality, stupidity, and excess media zeal ("overzealousness" isn't a word) that keep me going. Since this may be one of those seasons, here's what I would love to see this wonderfully promising year.
1. Feuds between Donovan McNabb and Michael Vick, Terrell Owens and Trent Edwards, Terrell Owens and the coaching staff, Brian Urlacher and Jake Plummer, Tom Cable and the rest of the Raiders' staff, Tom Cable and Al Davis, Jerry Jones and Wade Phillips, and Brett Favre and the whole Vikings team.
2. Pansy, QB-protecting calls affecting the outcome of so many games that the league has to reconsider its rules.
3. Every sudden death only consisting of one possession so that the league has to reconsider its overtime policy. (In 2002, my Dolphins missed the playoffs because they were one of 11 teams that played an overtime game without seeing the ball. There were only 26 OT games that year. If 42 percent of your overtimes are completely one-sided, isn't it time to adjust?)
4. A 7-9 Chargers team hosting a playoff game so that the league has to reconsider its playoff structure.
5. The Cincinnati Bengals winning fewer than seven games. I don't know why... it's just very important to me.
-JW
JW,
I was sure your "betrayal" link was going to take me to footage of Peyton Manning bitch-slapping Tony Dungy during a team meeting. So I'm disappointed. Big time.
Still, I like your list, and I'll second your complaint about NFL overtimes. Sure, they're exciting, but so is your first prison shower. So is trying to escape from a concentration camp. Buffalo's ridiculous playoff comeback against the Houston Oilers back in '93 was exciting as hell, but Oilers fans probably could have done without it.
That said, here's my own 2009 wish list.
1) John Madden guest-announces Green Bay at Minnesota on October 5th. Brett Favre refuses the start because he's "too tired."
2) New evidence is found in the Ray Lewis case. Ray and Plaxico Burress arrange to serve their sentences as cellmates. A reality show chronicles their adventures.
3) Mike Tomlin's attempt to chest-bump a player is met with stony silence and a shaking head.
4) The Dallas Cowboys play a terrible first half in week one of the playoffs. Jerry Jones takes over for Wade Phillips at halftime and leads the Cowboys to a defeat even more shameful than anticipated.
5) Eli Manning cries during a game. Archie arranges to have him traded.
We're mere hours away, so I'll stop there. I can't remember the last time I was this excited!
-GM
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Flagging Their Play: Liberalism and the Ruination of American Football
JW,
Every now and then, the American northeast provides such a fine illustration of liberalism's idiocies that it must be brought to light. Today's example involves Graydon Pool, a 2.6-acre, naturally-occurring swimming hole in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Established as a community park in 1929, Graydon Pool has in recent years been transformed into a battlefield for political armies. On the right, traditionalists hold fast to the park of their childhood and see the battle for Graydon as a battle for the town's heritage. On the left, younger residents propose replacing the swimming hole with "a more familiar symbol of summer, a blue concrete pool." Driven by liberalism's twin obsessions--sterility and (the perception of) safety--these citizens "want a thoroughly disinfected pool with clear waters so they can always see their youngsters," the Times reports. While the outcomes of various legal filings remain in doubt, it's hard to imagine the park surviving another generation in its current form. The pressures to "fix" it will likely be too great.
Similarly, fans of American football as it now exists would be well-advised to begin mobilizing in its support, as anyone who watched college games over the weekend can attest. Time and again, hits were penalized simply because they looked bad (as game analysts suggested), or because a ball-carrier seemed not to have expected the contact. Even those tackles whose illegalities have been officially codified speak directly to the creeping feminization of the sport: Driving a quarterback into the ground is now forbidden, as is hitting a "defenseless" receiver or pulling a player down from behind. Opposing players have already begun to game the system, of course, and drawing a penalty is now considered a successful offensive play. It doesn't have its own page in the playbook yet (that we know of), but that day is probably coming.
The end result of this change is that hits that once disuaded reckless play-calling (such as too-high, over-the-middle tosses to receivers) will slowly become the norm. Furthermore, a sport already slowed by its endless official reviews will continue to slog through the mud of three-and-a-half and even four hour games as penalty flags become even more pervasive. Just as very little has hurt this country more than the leftist belief in the achievability of "perfect" safety, "perfect" equality, and "perfect" justice, so the pursuit of pain- and injury-free football will inevitably ruin it. Just as the urge to tinker endlessly with policies promising salvation has led to such inane questions as "What if no one were poor?", so that urge will lead the guardians of the game to one day ban contact altogether.
Tackling, I think it's safe to say, is a regressive art.
-GM
GM,
There was a time when the most penalized teams were the most successful teams. Occasional lost yardage was the small price of psychologically dominating your opponents and getting away with penalties half the time anyway. In high school, you can still get really creative with it. I've seen undersized offensive lines resort to such tactics as groin-grabbing and trying to rip the defensive end's helmet off by the facemask. I suppose you could argue that the players essentially monitor each other when the refs don't have a clue, but I don't think this is the league we should aim for.
Now, however, the powers that be have gone too far the other way. If you're running full-speed at another guy who's running full-speed, and he takes one step out of bounds a tenth of a second before you hit him, flag. If you deck a receiver hoping to make him drop a ball--but he's already dropped it and is therefore "defenseless"--flag. If you so much as touch an NFL quarterback's helmet, flag. If you tackle the quarterback with full body weight (!), flag. And if you lead with your helmet, may God have mercy on your soul. All this hypersensitivity just means that every close game is decided by the officials, by penalties called and uncalled. "We lost by a point to BYU," says the Oklahoma fan, "but that hit on Bradford came a full three-tenths of a second after he released the ball! That's bull s--t! We should have had first-and-goal!"
...and now we're full circle back to your point.
Liberals, fans who don't understand the game, and (amazingly) the game's officials want to trade personal accountability for ambiguous culpability. My failure = somebody else's fault. The "window play" will soon be a staple of every offense. On third-and-impossible, the quarterback will just wait to throw the ball until a charging defender is in that increasingly open window of "I'm committed to making this tackle" and "It might be an automatic-first-down penalty."
"Window, on two, break!"
-JW
Every now and then, the American northeast provides such a fine illustration of liberalism's idiocies that it must be brought to light. Today's example involves Graydon Pool, a 2.6-acre, naturally-occurring swimming hole in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Established as a community park in 1929, Graydon Pool has in recent years been transformed into a battlefield for political armies. On the right, traditionalists hold fast to the park of their childhood and see the battle for Graydon as a battle for the town's heritage. On the left, younger residents propose replacing the swimming hole with "a more familiar symbol of summer, a blue concrete pool." Driven by liberalism's twin obsessions--sterility and (the perception of) safety--these citizens "want a thoroughly disinfected pool with clear waters so they can always see their youngsters," the Times reports. While the outcomes of various legal filings remain in doubt, it's hard to imagine the park surviving another generation in its current form. The pressures to "fix" it will likely be too great.
Similarly, fans of American football as it now exists would be well-advised to begin mobilizing in its support, as anyone who watched college games over the weekend can attest. Time and again, hits were penalized simply because they looked bad (as game analysts suggested), or because a ball-carrier seemed not to have expected the contact. Even those tackles whose illegalities have been officially codified speak directly to the creeping feminization of the sport: Driving a quarterback into the ground is now forbidden, as is hitting a "defenseless" receiver or pulling a player down from behind. Opposing players have already begun to game the system, of course, and drawing a penalty is now considered a successful offensive play. It doesn't have its own page in the playbook yet (that we know of), but that day is probably coming.
The end result of this change is that hits that once disuaded reckless play-calling (such as too-high, over-the-middle tosses to receivers) will slowly become the norm. Furthermore, a sport already slowed by its endless official reviews will continue to slog through the mud of three-and-a-half and even four hour games as penalty flags become even more pervasive. Just as very little has hurt this country more than the leftist belief in the achievability of "perfect" safety, "perfect" equality, and "perfect" justice, so the pursuit of pain- and injury-free football will inevitably ruin it. Just as the urge to tinker endlessly with policies promising salvation has led to such inane questions as "What if no one were poor?", so that urge will lead the guardians of the game to one day ban contact altogether.
Tackling, I think it's safe to say, is a regressive art.
-GM
GM,
There was a time when the most penalized teams were the most successful teams. Occasional lost yardage was the small price of psychologically dominating your opponents and getting away with penalties half the time anyway. In high school, you can still get really creative with it. I've seen undersized offensive lines resort to such tactics as groin-grabbing and trying to rip the defensive end's helmet off by the facemask. I suppose you could argue that the players essentially monitor each other when the refs don't have a clue, but I don't think this is the league we should aim for.
Now, however, the powers that be have gone too far the other way. If you're running full-speed at another guy who's running full-speed, and he takes one step out of bounds a tenth of a second before you hit him, flag. If you deck a receiver hoping to make him drop a ball--but he's already dropped it and is therefore "defenseless"--flag. If you so much as touch an NFL quarterback's helmet, flag. If you tackle the quarterback with full body weight (!), flag. And if you lead with your helmet, may God have mercy on your soul. All this hypersensitivity just means that every close game is decided by the officials, by penalties called and uncalled. "We lost by a point to BYU," says the Oklahoma fan, "but that hit on Bradford came a full three-tenths of a second after he released the ball! That's bull s--t! We should have had first-and-goal!"
...and now we're full circle back to your point.
Liberals, fans who don't understand the game, and (amazingly) the game's officials want to trade personal accountability for ambiguous culpability. My failure = somebody else's fault. The "window play" will soon be a staple of every offense. On third-and-impossible, the quarterback will just wait to throw the ball until a charging defender is in that increasingly open window of "I'm committed to making this tackle" and "It might be an automatic-first-down penalty."
"Window, on two, break!"
-JW
Monday, September 7, 2009
NFC South Preview: A Shameful End to a Project We're All Sick Of
GM,
I think we both know it's no coincidence that we saved the NFC South for last in our NFL preview: We're each going to have to research the Buccaneers in order to write a single intelligent or knowledgeable word about them. Well, you will. Luckily, I ran into a Tampa Bay fan over the weekend, and he confirmed my suspicion that it's virtually impossible for the Bucs to win the division, make the playoffs, make a run of any kind, or even play spoiler. They won't even be bad enough to be interesting. This year's Tampa team should be about as memorable as John Rocker's stint with the Devil Rays. It happened, sure, but no one's better off for knowing it.
Those familiar with gamblers' way of thinking have this division being the most competitive, with the Saints having the best odds (2:1) and the Bucs having the worst (4:1). Carolina and Atlanta are each at 5:2. In the South, it's all about trust, though, meaning I'm picking the Panthers, a well-coached squad that's never a league punching bag, to be hosting a playoff game in January.
Atlanta has a strong running game with Michael Turner, an underrated play-maker in wideout Roddie White, a Hall-of-Fame tight end addition in Tony Gonzalez, and a so-far reliable quarterback in Matt Ryan. The Falcons also have a below-average defense and a historical inability to manufacture consecutive winning seasons. I don't trust 'em.
New Orleans should score 500 points this season. The Saints have way too many weapons on offense, and the defense might even improve with Darren Sharper on the field and Gregg Williams on the sideline. But take it from a guy who used to live where a lot of Saints fans dwell:
DO NOT TRUST THIS TEAM!
- JW
JW,
I formed my impressions of NFL teams back in the early nineties when I first started watching football regularly. Because the Saints sucked in those days, their success has always been something of a novelty to me. It's something you don't see every day, and as a result it's intriguing. I like to see them do well. I'd love to see them in the playoffs or even the Super Bowl. Among guys my age, I doubt that I'm alone.
Sadly, much of the Saints' strategy over the past few years has been based on a serious miscalculation. Just as the Atlanta Falcons and Tennessee Titans learned that you can't win a championship with a "mobile" black quarterback who throws poorly, so New Orleans will one day have to admit that Reggie Bush isn't a particularly good player. He's certainly not the game-changer we saw in college (or didn't see if we lived on the east coast and went to bed before 2:00 am). And he's definitely not worth the millions of words that have been dedicated to him in Saints preview capsules this summer.
I mention Bush, by the way, because he's a good example of why the NFC South can't be trusted. Records and statistics aside, the casual fan has heard of way too many of these guys.
Think about it this way. If you haven't watched football seriously since 2003, you're thrilled that the Panthers are starting Jake Delhomme at quarterback, that consensus Freshman All-American selection Reggie Bush is playing for the Saints, and that the Falcons just traded for Tony Gonzalez. If you have watched, you know that Delhomme is the worst starting professional athlete in sports, that Reggie Bush got outrushed last year by Michael Bush, and that the Chiefs won exactly nothing with Gonzalez despite the fact that he wasn't old . . . yet. Picking the NFC South to make any noise this year is like picking Larry Johnson in your fantasy draft. You might as well call your team the Rip van Winkles.
All this brings me to why I'm picking the Tampa Bay Bucs to at least contend for the division title. Unlike faux-sleeper Houston, who brings arguably the best receiver in the game and an up-and-coming running back to the table, Tampa Bay would absolutely shock people. They're the ultimate sleeper! Reading their roster just put me to sleep!
Laugh if you will, but I'm picking the Bucs to outwin the Saints and Falcons by two games and give the Panthers a run for their divisional money. It's not as sure a bet as Jon Gruden coaching the Broncos, Vikings, or Bills next season, but it's close.
-GM
I think we both know it's no coincidence that we saved the NFC South for last in our NFL preview: We're each going to have to research the Buccaneers in order to write a single intelligent or knowledgeable word about them. Well, you will. Luckily, I ran into a Tampa Bay fan over the weekend, and he confirmed my suspicion that it's virtually impossible for the Bucs to win the division, make the playoffs, make a run of any kind, or even play spoiler. They won't even be bad enough to be interesting. This year's Tampa team should be about as memorable as John Rocker's stint with the Devil Rays. It happened, sure, but no one's better off for knowing it.
Those familiar with gamblers' way of thinking have this division being the most competitive, with the Saints having the best odds (2:1) and the Bucs having the worst (4:1). Carolina and Atlanta are each at 5:2. In the South, it's all about trust, though, meaning I'm picking the Panthers, a well-coached squad that's never a league punching bag, to be hosting a playoff game in January.
Atlanta has a strong running game with Michael Turner, an underrated play-maker in wideout Roddie White, a Hall-of-Fame tight end addition in Tony Gonzalez, and a so-far reliable quarterback in Matt Ryan. The Falcons also have a below-average defense and a historical inability to manufacture consecutive winning seasons. I don't trust 'em.
New Orleans should score 500 points this season. The Saints have way too many weapons on offense, and the defense might even improve with Darren Sharper on the field and Gregg Williams on the sideline. But take it from a guy who used to live where a lot of Saints fans dwell:
DO NOT TRUST THIS TEAM!
- JW
JW,
I formed my impressions of NFL teams back in the early nineties when I first started watching football regularly. Because the Saints sucked in those days, their success has always been something of a novelty to me. It's something you don't see every day, and as a result it's intriguing. I like to see them do well. I'd love to see them in the playoffs or even the Super Bowl. Among guys my age, I doubt that I'm alone.
Sadly, much of the Saints' strategy over the past few years has been based on a serious miscalculation. Just as the Atlanta Falcons and Tennessee Titans learned that you can't win a championship with a "mobile" black quarterback who throws poorly, so New Orleans will one day have to admit that Reggie Bush isn't a particularly good player. He's certainly not the game-changer we saw in college (or didn't see if we lived on the east coast and went to bed before 2:00 am). And he's definitely not worth the millions of words that have been dedicated to him in Saints preview capsules this summer.
I mention Bush, by the way, because he's a good example of why the NFC South can't be trusted. Records and statistics aside, the casual fan has heard of way too many of these guys.
Think about it this way. If you haven't watched football seriously since 2003, you're thrilled that the Panthers are starting Jake Delhomme at quarterback, that consensus Freshman All-American selection Reggie Bush is playing for the Saints, and that the Falcons just traded for Tony Gonzalez. If you have watched, you know that Delhomme is the worst starting professional athlete in sports, that Reggie Bush got outrushed last year by Michael Bush, and that the Chiefs won exactly nothing with Gonzalez despite the fact that he wasn't old . . . yet. Picking the NFC South to make any noise this year is like picking Larry Johnson in your fantasy draft. You might as well call your team the Rip van Winkles.
All this brings me to why I'm picking the Tampa Bay Bucs to at least contend for the division title. Unlike faux-sleeper Houston, who brings arguably the best receiver in the game and an up-and-coming running back to the table, Tampa Bay would absolutely shock people. They're the ultimate sleeper! Reading their roster just put me to sleep!
Laugh if you will, but I'm picking the Bucs to outwin the Saints and Falcons by two games and give the Panthers a run for their divisional money. It's not as sure a bet as Jon Gruden coaching the Broncos, Vikings, or Bills next season, but it's close.
-GM
Friday, September 4, 2009
AFC South Preview: Where the Sons of Plantation Owners Still Prosper
JW,
A quick review of our past weeks' work reveals that I haven't exactly been optimistic about most teams' 2009 chances. That's why I'm so excited about this season's AFC South, whose dominance of non-divisional opponents in the coming campaign may well rival the Harlem Globetrotters'. Take a look at their schedules, where the NFC West and AFC East loom about as large as Micro Machines. Other than New England (who you've got to figure one of these teams will find a way to beat), the AFC South could come close to running the table. This is the group, I think it's safe to say, that's going to get screwed by your 6-10, playoff-hosting Chargers.
Indianapolis' success, of course, is pretty much set in stone--they've had 12+ wins for the last six years and show no signs of letting up as long as choking in the first round of the playoffs remains a viable goal. As a friend of mine likes to say, this is finally going to be the season in which Peyton Manning proves himself to be the greatest quarterback of all time at home during the regular season. So what if the Colts' depth chart reveals a running back platoon that a Wheelchair Olympics squad would be ashamed of? These guys'll pass three times as much as they rush, convert every single one of their fourth downs, and annoy the hell out of me September through December. Not a bad season at all.
Where Houston and Jacksonville are concerned, there's also a lot to like. I can't get enough of Steve Slaton and Maurice Jones-Drew, and I'm predicting breakout seasons for both Matt Schaub and David Garrard. More importantly, perhaps, is the fact that both of these teams just feel exciting--particularly the Texans, who could lead the league in offense if Schaub stays healthy. Throw in their inevitable bandwagon and I see them giving somebody a serious run for the wild card slot.
Just don't let that team be the Titans, who are due for some serious revenge after last year's miscarriage of justice against the Ravens. My goodness! A playoff game was ruined by bad officiating! Period. No debate. Why has more not been made of this?
The answer, of course, is that the NFL remains impervious to scandal. Steroids can't hurt it even though they nearly killed baseball. Terrible calls can't bring it to its knees even though mistakes of this magnitude in the NBA would be national sports news for weeks. As a result, the only solution is self-policing, so let's give the Titans some make-up calls the likes of which this game has never seen. A turned-off play clock every fourth quarter. A fifth down every now and then. Seven accidental points.
After what happened in January, nothing else will do.
-GM
GM,
I'm finally ready to admit that I think both of the wildcard teams will come from this division--and that the Texans are my (yes, and everyone else's) sleeper pick to steal one of those wildcard spots. I, unlike you, usually like the Colts and love Peyton Manning like the quarterback I never had this century. Indianapolis is a model of consistency, and there's one driving force--and his dad owns a plantation somewhere in Mississippi.
Tony Dungy's absence will be felt about as much as a punch thrown during a baseball brawl, unlike this, which seems to be getting more pub than an Irishman. With Peyton Manning almost coaching the team--he's been known to overrule Dungy's fourth-down decisions--the Colts just need somebody to shut up and wear a headset, not somebody who actually cares about losses. I see another 12 wins and a division title.
Not since Jerry Krause broke up the Chicago Bulls has a team been expected to take such a free fall after a successful season. Tennessee won 13 games last year and could have won 15 had Jeff Fischer trusted his kicker in Week 15 and played his players in Week 17. The Titans haven't really lost much, and they'll still be physical as hell, yet Vegas expects them to win nine games this year. Nine! Nine is ridiculous. Ten is my prediction.
I like Matt Schaub more than he deserves, and Andre Johnson has secretly been a top-five receiver his entire career! Throw in the fact that Steve Slaton has never failed, and you have a team with 13-win potential as long as the defense can hold opponents to 20 points with any consistency.
Jacksonville will be the whipping boy of the division and perhaps the conference. You and I differ on this team's potential, which is why you'll make me slightly richer come December.
-JW
A quick review of our past weeks' work reveals that I haven't exactly been optimistic about most teams' 2009 chances. That's why I'm so excited about this season's AFC South, whose dominance of non-divisional opponents in the coming campaign may well rival the Harlem Globetrotters'. Take a look at their schedules, where the NFC West and AFC East loom about as large as Micro Machines. Other than New England (who you've got to figure one of these teams will find a way to beat), the AFC South could come close to running the table. This is the group, I think it's safe to say, that's going to get screwed by your 6-10, playoff-hosting Chargers.
Indianapolis' success, of course, is pretty much set in stone--they've had 12+ wins for the last six years and show no signs of letting up as long as choking in the first round of the playoffs remains a viable goal. As a friend of mine likes to say, this is finally going to be the season in which Peyton Manning proves himself to be the greatest quarterback of all time at home during the regular season. So what if the Colts' depth chart reveals a running back platoon that a Wheelchair Olympics squad would be ashamed of? These guys'll pass three times as much as they rush, convert every single one of their fourth downs, and annoy the hell out of me September through December. Not a bad season at all.
Where Houston and Jacksonville are concerned, there's also a lot to like. I can't get enough of Steve Slaton and Maurice Jones-Drew, and I'm predicting breakout seasons for both Matt Schaub and David Garrard. More importantly, perhaps, is the fact that both of these teams just feel exciting--particularly the Texans, who could lead the league in offense if Schaub stays healthy. Throw in their inevitable bandwagon and I see them giving somebody a serious run for the wild card slot.
Just don't let that team be the Titans, who are due for some serious revenge after last year's miscarriage of justice against the Ravens. My goodness! A playoff game was ruined by bad officiating! Period. No debate. Why has more not been made of this?
The answer, of course, is that the NFL remains impervious to scandal. Steroids can't hurt it even though they nearly killed baseball. Terrible calls can't bring it to its knees even though mistakes of this magnitude in the NBA would be national sports news for weeks. As a result, the only solution is self-policing, so let's give the Titans some make-up calls the likes of which this game has never seen. A turned-off play clock every fourth quarter. A fifth down every now and then. Seven accidental points.
After what happened in January, nothing else will do.
-GM
GM,
I'm finally ready to admit that I think both of the wildcard teams will come from this division--and that the Texans are my (yes, and everyone else's) sleeper pick to steal one of those wildcard spots. I, unlike you, usually like the Colts and love Peyton Manning like the quarterback I never had this century. Indianapolis is a model of consistency, and there's one driving force--and his dad owns a plantation somewhere in Mississippi.
Tony Dungy's absence will be felt about as much as a punch thrown during a baseball brawl, unlike this, which seems to be getting more pub than an Irishman. With Peyton Manning almost coaching the team--he's been known to overrule Dungy's fourth-down decisions--the Colts just need somebody to shut up and wear a headset, not somebody who actually cares about losses. I see another 12 wins and a division title.
Not since Jerry Krause broke up the Chicago Bulls has a team been expected to take such a free fall after a successful season. Tennessee won 13 games last year and could have won 15 had Jeff Fischer trusted his kicker in Week 15 and played his players in Week 17. The Titans haven't really lost much, and they'll still be physical as hell, yet Vegas expects them to win nine games this year. Nine! Nine is ridiculous. Ten is my prediction.
I like Matt Schaub more than he deserves, and Andre Johnson has secretly been a top-five receiver his entire career! Throw in the fact that Steve Slaton has never failed, and you have a team with 13-win potential as long as the defense can hold opponents to 20 points with any consistency.
Jacksonville will be the whipping boy of the division and perhaps the conference. You and I differ on this team's potential, which is why you'll make me slightly richer come December.
-JW
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
NFC West Preview: The Fall of the (Pueblo) House of Warner
GM,
I grimaced just thinking about the lack of competition in the AFC West yesterday, so let's move on to a division that should have just as little parity but probably somehow won't. The Cardinals should win the division easily, right? Thanks to offseason displays of generosity, less annoying business practices, and fence mending, Arizona should be expected to have one of the most explosive offenses in football again and cruise to an easy divisional title, right? I now present a little list I'd like to call "Coulda, Shoulda, Won'ta: The 2009 Arizona Cardinals." All rights reserved.
1. Kurt Warner hasn't had complete, successful back-to-back seasons in his NFL career. Really! People say he's a Hall of Fame candidate, and I can't necessarily disagree, but his affinity for fumbling, getting injured, and unpredictably sucking make him remarkably less reliable than most of Canton's greats. If you can't count on Warner, it's over.
2. As far as I know, Anquan Boldin still isn't too happy about his contract. And though he looks like less of a hoodlum than other Pro-Bowl receivers, it's safe to assume he still wants the ball and the money.
3. The division is no longer a cakewalk. Seattle promises to be better with many key players returning from injury. San Francisco promises to be better, having won four of its last five in 2008. St. Louis promises to black out several games....
4. This one shouldn't shock anyone, but the Cardinals did happen to lose in the SuperBowl last year. In the last eight years, only one SuperBowl loser has made the playoffs! (Call me the News Breaker.)
5. We actually expect them to be good! Ask the 2003-2007 squads how that worked out.
-JW
JW,
Historically, we've disagreed about the significance of quarterback play in the NFL. While I maintain that QB is the single most important position in sports, you've got it ranked somewhere between WNBA Sixth Woman and PGA caddie. I hope we can both agree, though, that where the NFL draft is concerned, striking out with a first-round quarterback pick really can set your franchise back half a decade.
That's certainly what happened to the San Francisco 49ers, whose 2005 pickup of Alex Smith in the top slot has been about as haunting as a pedophilia conviction. During the Smith era, the Niners went 16-32 and fired their offensive coordinator after every season. Smith himself missed 16 starts due to injury and 365 passes due to sucking (I looked it up!). Now that San Francisco has engaged in a mercy killing of the J. T. O'Sullivan era, look for Shaun Hill to join his predecessors by playing badly when he bothers to suit up at all.
Sadly, the hopes of the Seattle Seahawks and the St. Louis Rams also rest on QBs who've spent the last several years on the wrong side of tolerable. I know that the Rams' problems in the trenches have been well documented (a search of "rams offensive line" +"bad" yielded 234,000 Google hits), but at some point we just have to start questioning Marc Bulger's ability to walk upright without falling. And while Matt Hasselbeck has certainly hinted at not sucking (his 2005 season was quite strong, in fact), he's missed 13 games in the last three seasons and is primed to become that guy we somehow decide is "tough" just because he's constantly injured (see McNair, Steve).
The Cardinals, on the other hand, have all the ingredients for a very fine season. If it weren't for that pesky Super Bowl curse (outlined here in some detail), I'd be pencilling them in for a trip to Miami. As it is, I'll go with you and predict disaster, regardless of whether or not it makes sense on paper.
-GM
I grimaced just thinking about the lack of competition in the AFC West yesterday, so let's move on to a division that should have just as little parity but probably somehow won't. The Cardinals should win the division easily, right? Thanks to offseason displays of generosity, less annoying business practices, and fence mending, Arizona should be expected to have one of the most explosive offenses in football again and cruise to an easy divisional title, right? I now present a little list I'd like to call "Coulda, Shoulda, Won'ta: The 2009 Arizona Cardinals." All rights reserved.
1. Kurt Warner hasn't had complete, successful back-to-back seasons in his NFL career. Really! People say he's a Hall of Fame candidate, and I can't necessarily disagree, but his affinity for fumbling, getting injured, and unpredictably sucking make him remarkably less reliable than most of Canton's greats. If you can't count on Warner, it's over.
2. As far as I know, Anquan Boldin still isn't too happy about his contract. And though he looks like less of a hoodlum than other Pro-Bowl receivers, it's safe to assume he still wants the ball and the money.
3. The division is no longer a cakewalk. Seattle promises to be better with many key players returning from injury. San Francisco promises to be better, having won four of its last five in 2008. St. Louis promises to black out several games....
4. This one shouldn't shock anyone, but the Cardinals did happen to lose in the SuperBowl last year. In the last eight years, only one SuperBowl loser has made the playoffs! (Call me the News Breaker.)
5. We actually expect them to be good! Ask the 2003-2007 squads how that worked out.
-JW
JW,
Historically, we've disagreed about the significance of quarterback play in the NFL. While I maintain that QB is the single most important position in sports, you've got it ranked somewhere between WNBA Sixth Woman and PGA caddie. I hope we can both agree, though, that where the NFL draft is concerned, striking out with a first-round quarterback pick really can set your franchise back half a decade.
That's certainly what happened to the San Francisco 49ers, whose 2005 pickup of Alex Smith in the top slot has been about as haunting as a pedophilia conviction. During the Smith era, the Niners went 16-32 and fired their offensive coordinator after every season. Smith himself missed 16 starts due to injury and 365 passes due to sucking (I looked it up!). Now that San Francisco has engaged in a mercy killing of the J. T. O'Sullivan era, look for Shaun Hill to join his predecessors by playing badly when he bothers to suit up at all.
Sadly, the hopes of the Seattle Seahawks and the St. Louis Rams also rest on QBs who've spent the last several years on the wrong side of tolerable. I know that the Rams' problems in the trenches have been well documented (a search of "rams offensive line" +"bad" yielded 234,000 Google hits), but at some point we just have to start questioning Marc Bulger's ability to walk upright without falling. And while Matt Hasselbeck has certainly hinted at not sucking (his 2005 season was quite strong, in fact), he's missed 13 games in the last three seasons and is primed to become that guy we somehow decide is "tough" just because he's constantly injured (see McNair, Steve).
The Cardinals, on the other hand, have all the ingredients for a very fine season. If it weren't for that pesky Super Bowl curse (outlined here in some detail), I'd be pencilling them in for a trip to Miami. As it is, I'll go with you and predict disaster, regardless of whether or not it makes sense on paper.
-GM
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